I am not a real fan of first person slave narratives, but that being said, A Day at the Beach by Peachy, recently posted at the BDSM Library, is easily one of the very best I have ever read. First of all, it was romantic, slightly naughty, fun to read, and a turn on. I'm willing to bet that the author has some personal experience to draw on and that while there might have been a little literary license here and there, the vast majority of the emotions and communication between Master and Sub were all true and very real. The writing was a step above the usual for a BDSM Library submission, which is always a pleasant surprise. There were only a few errors (like what is a "remolded" gate? I know, you meant remodeled, but hey I make errors too when I write and people mention them all the time) and those didn't really detract from the story. Even better, the author DESCRIBED things. It wasn't just action and dialog, but she set the scene, even down to small foreshadowing details, and I could almost smell the saltwater.
Lastly, I know this was probably a real recounting of an actual session with a real dom, because what happened was well within the range of believability. Now this can be either a pro or a con. Some people like reading fiction because unbelievable things happen. The "session" between the sub and the dom in this story was very believable, very romantic, and to be honest, a little tepid for the reader. I'm sure THEY had fun doing it, and I'm sure had I been there I would have had fun doing it, but I wasn't, so I found myself hoping he would push her just a little farther...just a little more.
I guess my only complaint was that the story lacked any real emotional tension. At no point did I get the sensation of fear, even when the sub in the story told of "butterflies" in her stomach. She had established quite well that her master was a cautious one, and took care of her. I knew nothing was going to happen to her. There wasn't a "climax" to the story if you get my drift (yes I know, a bunch of characters climaxed, but the story didn't, and I didn't either.) Ask yourself, what was the plot? It's a recounting of a submissive girl's day. There is no plot. Its a journal entry. Turn the page and the next day they are out camping and pretty much do the same thing. Next week she's in a cabin, on a mountain in the snow, tied in front of a fireplace on a bearskin rug. See? No story arch. No tension. No reason for the reader to really care.
But I'm griping for no good reason, and frankly that complaint doesn't affect my rating. That's content and content complainers can just suck it up and deal with it. The author wanted to tell a story of romantic submission and she did, so there. I'm looking forward to a few more stories from Peachy, but sincerely hope I get drawn in, heart racing, wondering what will he do to her next? On a scale of one to ten, this one gets an 8!