Saturday, October 23, 2010
Once again the delightful mandy from HellFire Caves presents an enlightening concept. Those of us in the BDSM community are frequently faced with the limits of society and our own desires. How say you? Thanks for letting me post mandy!
After reading Taliesyn's topic about breath control, I started thinking about limits. I said I was terrified to have my breath cut off but within days I started thnking about it and changed my mind. I went from no way would I ever consider doing this to the thought of breath control actually exciting me. Originally I would have classified this as a hard limit ~ so what makes us change from a hard limit to a soft limit to something we want to experience?
Everyone has some type of limits or tolerances, whether it involves certain fetishes or practices, it is important for both partners to know and understand these. There may not be an obvious difference in a hard and soft limit, especially if someone's limits start changing over the course of a relationship. By working together, eventually hard and soft limits can be melded together to suit the relationship.
Hard Limit ~ something that must not be done. Violating a hard limit is often considered just cause for ending a scene or even a relationship.
Soft Limit ~ something that someone will do only in special circumstances or when highly aroused.
Must limit ~ something that a person will not do the scene without.
Time limit ~ an amount of time after which play ceases.
No Limits ~ the dominant/top/partner may do anything he or she cares to. This is usually a sign of an inexperienced player who does not yet know what their limits are. In reality, even the most hardened and experienced players have limits. “No limits” play is more the stuff of porn and thriller movies than in real-life.
What do you think ~ have your limits changed over time and what was the reason for this change?