Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Ask Breanne - Too Much Sex

Fan mail comes in all sizes and shapes, but none are more interesting than those asking for help... sexual help. - MA

Dear Breanne,

I’ve been running into a little bit of a problem with my girlfriend and I know I should be grateful for her, even ecstatic, and that most men would gladly change places with me in a heartbeat, but I’m starting to get concerned.

We met a little over a year ago at a club one night and immediately hit it off.  And by hit it off I mean we were rolling in my bed three hours after meeting.  She is beautiful, sexy, and very spirited and my willingness to try out practically every position from Karma Sutra made me someone she wanted to stay with.

But not only was the sex great, so was the combination of our personalities.  We like the same music, the same television shows, the same food.  We’re even getting the same degrees in college and are taking some of the same classes!  She is my perfect soul mate and I love her very, very much.

But there is just one slight concern.  She loves sex and frankly, I’m concerned about it.  The first thing I feel when I wake up in the morning is her hand or mouth on my cock.  The second I’m hard enough, she’s riding me.  And she cums fast too.  I’ve never ever met a woman who can cum as quickly as she can. It’s like I don’t even need to do any foreplay!  Sure, she loves me going down on her too, but I can literally lick her three or four times and then she’s squirting everywhere.  Multiple orgasms are the rule with her, rather than the exception. 

And it’s not just the morning either.  If we meet for lunch she will usually pull me somewhere private for a quick screw.  I’ve had sex in empty classrooms, in bathrooms, in the park, behind bushes, in the car, on a bus.  She doesn’t even seem to care if we’re in private for God’s sake!  She’s not an exhibitionist though. She doesn’t want to be seen, or do public sex acts right there in front of anyone, but it’s like she’s desperate for sex and will take unusual risks to get it.  On a regular work/school day, I’ve usually screwed her two or three times by one o’clock. 

The second we get back to the apartment after school she is ripping off my clothes and going down on me.  Every fucking day.  Granted, she makes things interesting – sometimes wearing slutty clothes or drizzling chocolate over her breasts. One day she came in from the kitchen wearing absolutely nothing but with both nipples capped with left over frosting from the cake we had baked the previous day.  And yes… we had sex while make the cake too.  Invariably we screw on the sofa and then start our homework.  Even that can be a problem, because if she’s done before I am, she will CRAWL across the floor, buck naked, her bottom wiggling in the air, go under the desk, and start sucking on me!  I’ll have two options at that point. Try to finish my homework, or have sex with her again. It’s like her default position is with me inside her!

The worst thing however is when we’re home alone.  She made it clear that she prefers me lounging around in my boxers, that way she can slip a hand into my shorts.  Or naked.  Naked happens a lot.  The moment we sit down on the couch together to watch a show, her hand slips down between my legs and begins fondling my cock!  How the hell can I watch a show with her rubbing and stroking me constantly?  Of course, if I do get hard, she usually slips down, sucks on me, and then during a commercial break we’re fucking like bunnies, but after we both cum, she again slips into the crook of my arm, puts her hands down between my thighs, and begins touching me!  Again!  There’s only so much a man can take!  Do you have any idea what it’s like having this gorgeous woman constantly playing with your cock, even when the last thing on your mind is sex?

Then we shower before bed.  She insists that we shower together, which before hand I would have been very enthusiastic about.  She says it’s to “improve intimacy.”  Seriously?  Intimacy?  That is what we do all fucking day long!  And in the shower you know what she insists we do?  Wash each other!  And I’m fine with that, really.  It’s the HOW she washes me that is the problem.  She soaps my cock and balls and even my ass, actually sticking her finger up my rear end!  Then she gets on her knees and strokes my rod until I’m hard as a rock again.  If I’m having trouble getting it up, she’ll suck on me!  Then we have to fuck in the shower!  And she puts body wash gel on my cock and lift one leg up in this incredibly sexy pose and have me screw her from behind!  Fortunately, she doesn’t make me cum since she knows I have trouble doing it standing up, but I still have to fuck her in both holes with fresh applications of body wash between impalements.  She can actually cum from getting fucked up the ass.
After the shower we dry off and go to bed.  We sleep naked, though that was an adjustment for me. I was a pajamas guy before, but I’ve acceded to her demands.  We slide into bed, I’m exhausted, and you know what she does?  Right. Her hands go all over my body, caressing me, rubbing me, rubbing my nipples, and eventually she gets down to my cock, holding it softly, squeezing it, caressing it, rubbing it up and down.  And she keeps doing this until I’m stiff, even if it takes an hour!  Rare is the night she falls asleep before getting me hard again and I’ve actually begun LONGING for those nights when she fades off to sleep before me.  But even if she does fall asleep, she’s got a hold of my cock and just won’t fucking let go!

I’ve tried toys.  I bought her vibrators and dildos and vibroballs and ben wa balls. She loved them. She played with them.  She even fucked them right there in front of me.  But the moment she got close to cumming, she was back at my cock, sucking me into hardness.  She says she doesn’t want synthetic orgasm!  Arggghhh!

A few months ago things got even worse.  She got online and since I had bought her toys, she’s bought some for me.  Frankly I was hoping for a chastity belt or something that would lock up my cock.  She got me masturbatory toys!  I have cock rings that vibrate now!  I’ve got suction pumps to make my cock bigger!  I’ve got a chest full of fake silicon pussies!  Pussies! And why on earth would I WANT those when all I have to do is walk through the damn apartment and she jumps me?

So why am I writing you?  Because she bought your books and likes to read them to me while she stroking me.  I don’t blame you and frankly, it has made things easier to get it up lately.  But still, you’ve got to help me.  What do I do? 

Too Much Sex

UPDATE: Breanne Replies

Dear Too Much,

You're right.  There are approximately seven billion people on the planet, and we can generally say that half of them are male. That means that we can estimate that there are three billion, four hundred and ninety nine million, nine hundred and ninety nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety nine men who think you are nuts to be complaining and would gladly trade places with you.  But you know what?  I actually do understand.  It's simple biology. Men are not physically equipped for constant, long term sexual acts.  In fact, in nature, frequently the female accepts multiple mates in order for the most viable sperm to win the race to the egg.  I remember watching a nature show once and laughing when the skinny "nerd" lizard snuck into the "jock" lizard's den and did the nasty with the jock lizard's girlfriend.  It seemed familiar somehow.

But let's get back to your problem.  First of all, you're going to need to TALK to your girlfriend, not just buy her sex toys.  You need to establish some common sense rules about when sexual contact is acceptable, and when it's not.  There need to be some legitimate boundaries.   That said, you also need to take her physical needs into consideration.  If she needs sex that much, then you both need to consider whether you can sufficiently provide it. Maybe ya'll need to bring a third lover into the mix.  That can overly complicate things, but it's either that or she takes her foot off the accelerator, especially if she isn't willing to go to the self-service aisle, which is still probably the best bet.  

The next thing I recommend is try to set up scenarios where sex takes time.  Tell her if she wants to rub your cock, to get out the oil or something.  And you might also turn the tables.  If ya'll are cuddling on the sofa and her hand goes down between your legs, smile wickedly and push her back and tug down her panties and do a slow rub on her.  She'll purr, love it, and either cum or get so horny that she'll finally pounce like a kitten on a ball of yarn.  

So good luck!  I hope you guys find a happy medium where you both get what you need!

- Breanne

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