I stood in the doorway, the hem of my soft robe fluttering around my calves as my daughter danced her way through the falling rain. She had an umbrella of course, and a rain slicker; pink with little white hearts on it. Not to mention a pair of match boots that went up almost to her knees. My dad would have called them galoshes while my mother would have said “overshoes”, regardless of what they were called they did a good job of keep the water off my daughter’s toes. Except she was stomping in every puddle she could find. How does a parent keep their kid dry when they insisted on splashing in every fucking pond they see? Sigh…
The moment she was out of earshot I opened the front of my robe. I wasn’t wearing anything underneath, but even standing on the stoop of my apartment, looking out across the parking lot, I knew that the brief exposure of my body wasn’t going to create a stir. The rain was steady, if not torrential and no one in their right mind was loitering around to see if the resident nympho humiliation pain slut was doing one of her routine flashes.
Except that wasn’t what I was doing. Okay, sure… it might have been a by-product. But as I slipped my right hand down the inside of the robe I found the small pocket and pushed my fingers past the wires and down toward the rectangular, battery filled, box that waited. On the side of that box was a knob and my thumb found it with ease, pushing it in a clockwise direction until it clicked once. Deep inside, a switch moved a fraction of an inch, connecting one little piece of metal to another. Electrons began to flow out of a pair of double A batteries, through a wire, past the switch and into a small little device called a potentiometer. The “pot” (as electrical people like to call it” was set to low and so a small trickle of electrons continued down through the circuit, to a splitter the top of the small battery pack, and then randomly shot down one of three copper lines. For a while all three of those lines went along the same path; across my hip, over my mons, down against my leg, and eventually up toward a warm, wet, pink crevasse found between my soft inner thighs. Here one of the wires became divergent, heading not upward, but back, over my perineum, only to dive into a darker, more deviant cavern located to the rear of that particular landscape.
Inside, the electrons found their targets; three independent and separate coils of copper. As the electricity spun around each coil, the electrons created a rotating magnetic field which spun up metal core suspended in the middle of the coil. Faster and faster this core turned, even as the electrons rushed back up the wires toward the battery back, completing the circuit and disappearing into the positive ends of the double A batteries.
The core however was where all the action was. Had you been able to see it, you would have noticed it held in position with a number of lubricated ball bearings, allowing the far end of this spinning post to emerge outside of the coil. Connected to the top was a weight, and it wasn’t centered, allowing the metal core to spin evenly. No, it was lopsided, making the entire apparatus shake and tremble as the weight constantly tried to pull the tiny electric motor to the side. I can’t even imagine what this would have felt like had the whole thing not been encapsulated inside a plastic shell, about the size of my thumb.
But I sure could feel it. Slowly I closed the door, my hips already swinging with strain. I was coming down off a long, dry spell, forced upon me by the treacherous disobedience of a girl named Eve, and/or Mother Nature herself. Thank God man’s ingenuity had created medicines to deal with menstrual symptoms and frankly, as I get older, I’m beginning to think that menopausal hot and cold flashes aren’t really so bad after all. I just have to wait another fifteen or twenty years. Sheesh.