I stood in the doorway,
the hem of my soft robe fluttering around my calves as my daughter danced her
way through the falling rain. She had an umbrella of course, and a rain
slicker; pink with little white hearts on it. Not to mention a pair of match
boots that went up almost to her knees. My dad would have called them galoshes
while my mother would have said “overshoes”, regardless of what they were
called they did a good job of keep the water off my daughter’s toes. Except she
was stomping in every puddle she could find. How does a parent keep their kid
dry when they insisted on splashing in every fucking pond they see? Sigh…
The moment she was out
of earshot I opened the front of my robe. I wasn’t wearing anything underneath,
but even standing on the stoop of my apartment, looking out across the parking
lot, I knew that the brief exposure of my body wasn’t going to create a stir.
The rain was steady, if not torrential and no one in their right mind was
loitering around to see if the resident nympho humiliation pain slut was doing
one of her routine flashes.
Except that wasn’t what
I was doing. Okay, sure… it might have been a by-product. But as I slipped my
right hand down the inside of the robe I found the small pocket and pushed my
fingers past the wires and down toward the rectangular, battery filled, box
that waited. On the side of that box was a knob and my thumb found it with
ease, pushing it in a clockwise direction until it clicked once. Deep inside, a
switch moved a fraction of an inch, connecting one little piece of metal to
another. Electrons began to flow out of a pair of double A batteries, through a
wire, past the switch and into a small little device called a potentiometer.
The “pot” (as electrical people like to call it” was set to low and so a small
trickle of electrons continued down through the circuit, to a splitter the top
of the small battery pack, and then randomly shot down one of three copper
lines. For a while all three of those lines went along the same path; across my
hip, over my mons, down against my leg, and eventually up toward a warm, wet,
pink crevasse found between my soft inner thighs. Here one of the wires became
divergent, heading not upward, but back, over my perineum, only to dive into a
darker, more deviant cavern located to the rear of that particular landscape.
Inside, the electrons
found their targets; three independent and separate coils of copper. As the
electricity spun around each coil, the electrons created a rotating magnetic
field which spun up metal core suspended in the middle of the coil. Faster and
faster this core turned, even as the electrons rushed back up the wires toward
the battery back, completing the circuit and disappearing into the positive
ends of the double A batteries.
The core however was
where all the action was. Had you been able to see it, you would have noticed
it held in position with a number of lubricated ball bearings, allowing the far
end of this spinning post to emerge outside of the coil. Connected to the top
was a weight, and it wasn’t centered, allowing the metal core to spin evenly.
No, it was lopsided, making the entire apparatus shake and tremble as the
weight constantly tried to pull the tiny electric motor to the side. I can’t
even imagine what this would have felt like had the whole thing not been
encapsulated inside a plastic shell, about the size of my thumb.
But I sure could feel
it. Slowly I closed the door, my hips already swinging with strain. I was
coming down off a long, dry spell, forced upon me by the treacherous
disobedience of a girl named Eve, and/or Mother Nature herself. Thank God man’s
ingenuity had created medicines to deal with menstrual symptoms and frankly, as
I get older, I’m beginning to think that menopausal hot and cold flashes aren’t
really so bad after all. I just have to wait another fifteen or twenty years.
Sheesh.
